How To Deal With Behavioral Issues In Children – The Dreaded Morning Rush
One mom and her child discovered that her child’s difficulty was in transitioning. She told me that, “Quickly switching gears to go from one activity to the next, is hard for my daughter some days.”
Her daughter explained that the two of them “figured it out together” and that it was the “time crunch” to everything in the morning, that made mornings hard.
Mom had always thought that her daughter was being, “impossible” and needing help to go from one part of her morning routine to another. Mom felt certain her behavior was due to her child’s desire to control “everything”. Her daughter felt the same, but blamed Mom for being the bossy one.
If it seems an issue of control, then one must ask, “why.” What was to be gained through control? In this child’s case, plenty!
As it turned out, this child had tremendous difficulty problem‑solving and thinking as quickly as other members in her family. Her pace of “doing” was slower.
Her behavior, that seemed like stubbornness to her mother, was actually the one time in her day that things could happen in a predictable, comfortable rhythm assigned by herself. Most of the day at school, a choice in activity and time frame was not possible. While at home, whether morning or evening, she wanted to have her own pace of “doing” and allowed expression.
Once the behavior was better understood, Mom created games for evenings and weekends that involved her daughter setting the rhythm and pace.
Mom would say, “I’m in charge because we’re shopping and then when we get in the car you’re in charge of the music we play.” Or, “we’ll get through this and go to the park for a bit, you can be in charge of the plans there.”
Once her daughter recognized the ebb and flow of control and the ebb and flow of leading and being lead, she gained confidence and participated more fully in her school day and even in her morning routine.
For more Mom-inspired good ideas read Suzanne’s other blogs and information as well as her book, Unique Learner Solutions available on this web site!